I wonder if I am the only one doing this. I know I'm probably not politically correct, but I felt good doing so, so I apologize in advance if I offended anyone.
I found it weird that I always felt like dressing more boyish whenever I feel down or vulnerable about myself. When I appear more androgynous and boyish, the more I feel safe and secure in a literal and emotional way. Literally, I could avoid the uncomfortable glares from others who objectified females, plus of course the perverted old men, by hiding my body. Emotionally... I felt I'm in control, rather than letting others to hurt me.
This is what I don't get. Am I brainwashed by he patriarchal idea of men being the one in power, and women being the dependent one? I'm proud to be a female, yet I couldn't stop comforting and protecting myself by dressing and appearing more guy-ish. Or actually it's okay to boost up your mood, energy, and emotional level by butching yourself up? Maybe this is just an internal thing or obscure belief that runs inside my brain...
I found it weird that I always felt like dressing more boyish whenever I feel down or vulnerable about myself. When I appear more androgynous and boyish, the more I feel safe and secure in a literal and emotional way. Literally, I could avoid the uncomfortable glares from others who objectified females, plus of course the perverted old men, by hiding my body. Emotionally... I felt I'm in control, rather than letting others to hurt me.
This is what I don't get. Am I brainwashed by he patriarchal idea of men being the one in power, and women being the dependent one? I'm proud to be a female, yet I couldn't stop comforting and protecting myself by dressing and appearing more guy-ish. Or actually it's okay to boost up your mood, energy, and emotional level by butching yourself up? Maybe this is just an internal thing or obscure belief that runs inside my brain...
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