Showing posts with label feminism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feminism. Show all posts
Friday, May 14, 2010
Friday, April 30, 2010
Femininity: A Personal Intepretation
Childhood
My mother was a earthy, natural, butch-like woman. She dislikes fuzzy things. Everything had to be simple and crisp clear. When I was still a kid, my daily-life rarely consisted of any girly things. I begged for long hair, just like the dolls typical girl played with, forever. I envied my classmates from the all girls' catholic school, with their shiny straight hair braided, twisted, and decorated with blue ribbons that matched the school uniforms. My mother told me she did not want to braid my hair, and short hair made everyone's life easier. My sole way of displaying femininity, well girliness at that time, was stripped for convenience. You see I was never a happy kid.
Teenager
Finally I could manage my own belongings. I clad myself with silky long hair with curls that were perfectly styled, natural monochrome make-up, rimless business looking glasses, professional A-line skirts, and black pointy flats. Would people take me as an attractive yet mature young lady? I didn't want to be the sexy, but good enough for those developing young male adults to pay attention to me. Actually, I wouldn't care. They were so immature anyway, only daydreaming and fantasizing about other girls' lacy bras and thong underwear. Yet, I did not get why no one had ever noticed me. A shy, quite intelligent, artsy girl.
Late-teens and beyond
Over with the males. Questioning and conflicting with the morals, girls are apparently attractive too. Hmm, especially boyish butchy ones. They are much softer and more understanding than bio-boys. Also why not go against the majority's view on female attractiveness, and start binding the bosoms? They are really only functional during sexual play anyway.
* * *
I wonder if my life experiences had an effect on my current interpretation of femininity, leaving an impress on my obscure view.
I hate girly females, those ones dancing in the greens with mary jane pumps, flowy skirts and flying scarfs. I would never pity those who twisted their ankle or leg or whatever with their high heels. I think the women who tried to show off their curves are slutty. Yes, I said slutty. I don't care if you are doing this for yourself, or wanting to be objectified by others. I dislike those soft, weak girls that get freaked out and cry easily because of some small thing. Really? The whole act just looks stupid and so pretending to me. If you cry in front of males, maybe they will try their best to help, comfort, or protect you. Me? Go f*ck off. I don't give a damn.
On the other hand, I'm just as stupid as those girls I mentioned above. I am craving to find femininity that works with my own body and mind, and I know I still have a lot to figure out. I strongly discourage the act of being dependent, which is a popular and conventional method of showcasing feminine quality. But am I crossing the line where I'm really just complaining my discomfort because I'm lost? I felt like I have to resculpt the idea of being feminine while not totally trashing my past believes and experiences.
So, what is femininity?
My mother was a earthy, natural, butch-like woman. She dislikes fuzzy things. Everything had to be simple and crisp clear. When I was still a kid, my daily-life rarely consisted of any girly things. I begged for long hair, just like the dolls typical girl played with, forever. I envied my classmates from the all girls' catholic school, with their shiny straight hair braided, twisted, and decorated with blue ribbons that matched the school uniforms. My mother told me she did not want to braid my hair, and short hair made everyone's life easier. My sole way of displaying femininity, well girliness at that time, was stripped for convenience. You see I was never a happy kid.
Teenager
Finally I could manage my own belongings. I clad myself with silky long hair with curls that were perfectly styled, natural monochrome make-up, rimless business looking glasses, professional A-line skirts, and black pointy flats. Would people take me as an attractive yet mature young lady? I didn't want to be the sexy, but good enough for those developing young male adults to pay attention to me. Actually, I wouldn't care. They were so immature anyway, only daydreaming and fantasizing about other girls' lacy bras and thong underwear. Yet, I did not get why no one had ever noticed me. A shy, quite intelligent, artsy girl.
Late-teens and beyond
Over with the males. Questioning and conflicting with the morals, girls are apparently attractive too. Hmm, especially boyish butchy ones. They are much softer and more understanding than bio-boys. Also why not go against the majority's view on female attractiveness, and start binding the bosoms? They are really only functional during sexual play anyway.
* * *
I wonder if my life experiences had an effect on my current interpretation of femininity, leaving an impress on my obscure view.
I hate girly females, those ones dancing in the greens with mary jane pumps, flowy skirts and flying scarfs. I would never pity those who twisted their ankle or leg or whatever with their high heels. I think the women who tried to show off their curves are slutty. Yes, I said slutty. I don't care if you are doing this for yourself, or wanting to be objectified by others. I dislike those soft, weak girls that get freaked out and cry easily because of some small thing. Really? The whole act just looks stupid and so pretending to me. If you cry in front of males, maybe they will try their best to help, comfort, or protect you. Me? Go f*ck off. I don't give a damn.
On the other hand, I'm just as stupid as those girls I mentioned above. I am craving to find femininity that works with my own body and mind, and I know I still have a lot to figure out. I strongly discourage the act of being dependent, which is a popular and conventional method of showcasing feminine quality. But am I crossing the line where I'm really just complaining my discomfort because I'm lost? I felt like I have to resculpt the idea of being feminine while not totally trashing my past believes and experiences.
So, what is femininity?
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
How to Survive under a Patriarchal Society
I actually got the following from a feminist article on Fridae.com (click here for the original article in Chinese). I've roughly translated the Chinese text into English - please excuse me if anything sounds a bit off, which I think it is weird in certain parts.
《如何在男人當家的組織中站穩腳跟》
1、別用男人的標準量自己，要從容不迫，保持個性。
2、胸有成竹再行動，沒信心時也要顯得鎮定。
3、別讓自己疲於奔命、費力不討好，要有尊嚴。
4、遠離蜚短流長，深入認識真相。
5、不要總當跟班，自己要有主意，重要問題別妥協。
6、不要害怕爭論，要據理力爭、以理服人。
7、遇到小人須冷靜，要不卑不亢，委曲求全只能讓對方得寸進尺。
8、不要甘當二等公民或者保姆雜役。
9、不要參與男人的遊戲，更要當心變成男人遊戲中的棋子兒。
How to Survive under a Patriarchal Society
1. Never compare yourself with men. Maintain your own distinctiveness and uniqueness.
2. Only act when you have full confidence to win. Even when you are not so certain at times, remain calm.
3. Don't wear yourself out. Keep your dignity.
4. Drift away from rumours. Go dig for the real truth.
5. Don't just simply follow orders. Have your own opinions. Never compromise on important issues.
6. Don't be afraid of arguments. Use facts to persuade others.
7. Remain calm while defeating sneaky people. Ask them for pity will only let their force grow bigger.
8. Don't volunteer to a second class citizen.
9. Don't get involve with the games of men. Don't be their chess piece.
《如何在男人當家的組織中站穩腳跟》
1、別用男人的標準量自己，要從容不迫，保持個性。
2、胸有成竹再行動，沒信心時也要顯得鎮定。
3、別讓自己疲於奔命、費力不討好，要有尊嚴。
4、遠離蜚短流長，深入認識真相。
5、不要總當跟班，自己要有主意，重要問題別妥協。
6、不要害怕爭論，要據理力爭、以理服人。
7、遇到小人須冷靜，要不卑不亢，委曲求全只能讓對方得寸進尺。
8、不要甘當二等公民或者保姆雜役。
9、不要參與男人的遊戲，更要當心變成男人遊戲中的棋子兒。
How to Survive under a Patriarchal Society
1. Never compare yourself with men. Maintain your own distinctiveness and uniqueness.
2. Only act when you have full confidence to win. Even when you are not so certain at times, remain calm.
3. Don't wear yourself out. Keep your dignity.
4. Drift away from rumours. Go dig for the real truth.
5. Don't just simply follow orders. Have your own opinions. Never compromise on important issues.
6. Don't be afraid of arguments. Use facts to persuade others.
7. Remain calm while defeating sneaky people. Ask them for pity will only let their force grow bigger.
8. Don't volunteer to a second class citizen.
9. Don't get involve with the games of men. Don't be their chess piece.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Binders
When people hear the term binder, most would think of the folder with rings or clasps for organizing loose paper.
For me, what comes in mind is a garment that binds my chest into a flat landscape... and I am hoping that it will symbolically organize my thoughts on the meaning of being a female.
* * *
If an individual looks ambiguous at the initially look, majority of people would stare down on the person's chest area to see if there are female second sexual characteristics, or boobs, so they can label the person as female or male.
If an individual looks ambiguous at the initially look, majority of people would stare down on the person's chest area to see if there are female second sexual characteristics, or boobs, so they can label the person as female or male.
There is also another type of people that would aim straight to female bosoms. Those disgusting perverted men. Those who tried to stare right down your neckline, ripping the shirt open mentally.
* * *
I feel very uncomfortable when people oogle at me, especially my upper body. Yes I have lady lumps. No, I don't want to show them off. Go buy a Playboy magazine and satisfy your visual experience. I don't even want to reveal my curves at all. I only want to keep them for play with my partner in our room in private. For the rest of the time, I just want to keep them neatly binded flat.
* * *
* * *
I cannot stop thinking why I think like this. Am I obscurely brainwashed by the awkward believes and culture that I was brought up with? Why am I binding my chest just because I don't want other to look at it? But isn't that just oppressing myself and not being a feminist? Isn't that a trap, and patriarchy is taking its chance to suppress me?
What about the society's view on females not having significant upper chest areas? Does that mean those women are unattractive? But all those high fashion models are pretty much flat too. Will I get alienated if I say I want to be identify as female, but I want a chest flat? Am I abnormal? What is normal anyway, the say of the majority?
Yet on the other hand... what is the purpose having breasts actually? Are they for display, for pleasure, or for what?
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Mood Boost: Butch It Up
I wonder if I am the only one doing this. I know I'm probably not politically correct, but I felt good doing so, so I apologize in advance if I offended anyone.
I found it weird that I always felt like dressing more boyish whenever I feel down or vulnerable about myself. When I appear more androgynous and boyish, the more I feel safe and secure in a literal and emotional way. Literally, I could avoid the uncomfortable glares from others who objectified females, plus of course the perverted old men, by hiding my body. Emotionally... I felt I'm in control, rather than letting others to hurt me.
This is what I don't get. Am I brainwashed by he patriarchal idea of men being the one in power, and women being the dependent one? I'm proud to be a female, yet I couldn't stop comforting and protecting myself by dressing and appearing more guy-ish. Or actually it's okay to boost up your mood, energy, and emotional level by butching yourself up? Maybe this is just an internal thing or obscure belief that runs inside my brain...
I found it weird that I always felt like dressing more boyish whenever I feel down or vulnerable about myself. When I appear more androgynous and boyish, the more I feel safe and secure in a literal and emotional way. Literally, I could avoid the uncomfortable glares from others who objectified females, plus of course the perverted old men, by hiding my body. Emotionally... I felt I'm in control, rather than letting others to hurt me.
This is what I don't get. Am I brainwashed by he patriarchal idea of men being the one in power, and women being the dependent one? I'm proud to be a female, yet I couldn't stop comforting and protecting myself by dressing and appearing more guy-ish. Or actually it's okay to boost up your mood, energy, and emotional level by butching yourself up? Maybe this is just an internal thing or obscure belief that runs inside my brain...
Friday, April 17, 2009
Feminism and Architecture
What brought me into writing this article is the number of toilets/urinals required in the bathroom for males and females. Seriously, the Chinese building code doesn't make sense at all. Also I get yelled at a lot by my supervisors just because I put too many toilets inside the female washroom (and by that I mean 4 toilets in the women's and 2 toilets plus 4 urinals for the men's) when I plan out the tower core or just washrooms for a shopping mall. I mean, really? WTH?! That gives 6 toilets for men in total while there's only 4 for women! That is just stupid, plus very inefficient too. Imagining all those time when your male accompanies have to wait for you as you have to wait in line and then finally pee? The best ratio is to have 1.5x the amount of toilet in the females and then reduce space yet satisfy the code requirement by having reasonable number of urinals instead of toilets for the gentlemen's (I know I know, some men prefer toilets, but still the majority just pee standing up with urinals).
Regarding women and space, I do feel much of the time architecture and spaces are designed especially for males, and designs are based upon patriarchal culture. Literally "men-made" environment. For example, my mom would love to have a huge kitchen (don't get me wrong here, I didn't mean females should stay inside the kitchen cooking – my mom just loves to make food and she can spend an entire day in the kitchen!) so she can spread all her stuff over the counter. However, obviously many others would disagree – they would prefer a larger living room or dining room or whatever (this applies to mini apartment homes in cities especially). If you think about the number of women who are designated to be the chefs of the house according to our current "trend" or even "norm" (as in female cooking for the household), doesn't it make sense to design a comfortable and pleasant space that the women spend their time in to be somewhere they enjoy staying in? I personally doesn't like to stay in the kitchen preparing big feasts, but certainly I would love to have a decent spacious kitchen so I feel good while I'm in it.
As for professional writing and researches, I did find an article through web search that briefly touched the topic of having women pioneers as architects and interior designers (which are professions that men dominate traditionally). However it was focused on gay and lesbian architects and their designs during the modern period rather than feminism in architecture. If you still want to check it out, click here to read the article on Architecture by GLBTQ.
There are a few books on feminism and architecture too – but I don't have my hands on any of them yet, so I won't be able to comment. Nevertheless have a look on them here:
Architecture and Feminism by E. Danze
Regarding women and space, I do feel much of the time architecture and spaces are designed especially for males, and designs are based upon patriarchal culture. Literally "men-made" environment. For example, my mom would love to have a huge kitchen (don't get me wrong here, I didn't mean females should stay inside the kitchen cooking – my mom just loves to make food and she can spend an entire day in the kitchen!) so she can spread all her stuff over the counter. However, obviously many others would disagree – they would prefer a larger living room or dining room or whatever (this applies to mini apartment homes in cities especially). If you think about the number of women who are designated to be the chefs of the house according to our current "trend" or even "norm" (as in female cooking for the household), doesn't it make sense to design a comfortable and pleasant space that the women spend their time in to be somewhere they enjoy staying in? I personally doesn't like to stay in the kitchen preparing big feasts, but certainly I would love to have a decent spacious kitchen so I feel good while I'm in it.
As for professional writing and researches, I did find an article through web search that briefly touched the topic of having women pioneers as architects and interior designers (which are professions that men dominate traditionally). However it was focused on gay and lesbian architects and their designs during the modern period rather than feminism in architecture. If you still want to check it out, click here to read the article on Architecture by GLBTQ.
There are a few books on feminism and architecture too – but I don't have my hands on any of them yet, so I won't be able to comment. Nevertheless have a look on them here:
Architecture and Feminism by E. Danze
Discrimination by Design: A Feminist Critique of the Man-Made Environment by Leslie Weisman
Gender Space Architecture: An Interdisciplinary Introduction by Jane Rendell
There is also a project related to the topic that seems interesting:
Matter in Motion, The Cinema Image, Feminism and Architecture by Dorothea Olkowski
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
WTF????
I'm seriously very mad when I read this article on HK Yahoo. This is b*llsh*t - both the specific school principal and Equal Opportunity Commission.
What's wrong with wearing dress pants to school, especially the school rules allow it? It's not like the teacher is wearing unappropriate clothing or birthday suit to school. And since the school authorities love teachers wearing skirts and dresses, why don't they make male teachers wear skirts to school too??? That will be so cool! I don't get it.
As for Equal Opportunity Commission, I'm wondering what do those guys do? Hmmm... I guess day dream all day long? If this kind of cases are refused, what would they accept? And what's the point of having and calling themselves 平機會 (Equal Opportunity Commission), if they chose to ignore unequal opportunities situations? Funny.
The original article is posted here: http://hk.news.yahoo.com/article/090406/4/bjwt.html
* * *
不滿被迫穿裙 女教師求援被拒
明報記者 何素文, 04/07/2009
香港中國婦女會馮堯敬紀念中學前女教師鄺小姐，2007年向平機會投訴，指她依校規規定穿整齊西褲回校，但校長卻要求她一定要穿裙回校，更拿出聘書暗示如繼續穿褲回校，便會裁掉她。07年至今因校方拒絕出席調解，去年她向平機會申請法律協助被拒，年初在教育界立法會議員張文光協助下，她獲平機會主動接觸，稱會再考慮申請。
張文光介入 平機會稱再考慮
香港中國婦女會馮堯敬紀念中學校長孫莉華否認有關說法，但她指自己不想回應及詳細交代，以免引起罵戰。
07年起在該校任教的鄺小姐透露，首天回校即被叫進校長室，校長指她要尊重校規，穿裙回校，但她當時反駁校長，並指校規規定可穿西褲回校。
她翌日再穿西褲回校，但再被召入校長室，「提醒」她如果每日要穿褲子，就要穿整套套裝，鄺小姐答允，但校長隨即拿出聘書，朗讀條文「中止聘任」的一欄，但就指現時不能裁走她，「還要看你的表現」。鄺小姐指雖然校長沒表明不穿裙就要裁走她，但她感受到校長的用意。她指出，事件已拖了兩年多，身心疲累，但校方一直不肯出席調解，最後她只能申請訴訟解決。
團體指勝算高仍不獲批
香港人權監察主席莊耀洸表示，一直由07年協助鄺小姐，就《性別歧視條例》這是一個很好的案例，如果上庭相信勝算很高，但平機會卻不批出法律協助。
What's wrong with wearing dress pants to school, especially the school rules allow it? It's not like the teacher is wearing unappropriate clothing or birthday suit to school. And since the school authorities love teachers wearing skirts and dresses, why don't they make male teachers wear skirts to school too??? That will be so cool! I don't get it.
As for Equal Opportunity Commission, I'm wondering what do those guys do? Hmmm... I guess day dream all day long? If this kind of cases are refused, what would they accept? And what's the point of having and calling themselves 平機會 (Equal Opportunity Commission), if they chose to ignore unequal opportunities situations? Funny.
The original article is posted here: http://hk.news.yahoo.com/article/090406/4/bjwt.html
* * *
不滿被迫穿裙 女教師求援被拒
明報記者 何素文, 04/07/2009
香港中國婦女會馮堯敬紀念中學前女教師鄺小姐，2007年向平機會投訴，指她依校規規定穿整齊西褲回校，但校長卻要求她一定要穿裙回校，更拿出聘書暗示如繼續穿褲回校，便會裁掉她。07年至今因校方拒絕出席調解，去年她向平機會申請法律協助被拒，年初在教育界立法會議員張文光協助下，她獲平機會主動接觸，稱會再考慮申請。
張文光介入 平機會稱再考慮
香港中國婦女會馮堯敬紀念中學校長孫莉華否認有關說法，但她指自己不想回應及詳細交代，以免引起罵戰。
07年起在該校任教的鄺小姐透露，首天回校即被叫進校長室，校長指她要尊重校規，穿裙回校，但她當時反駁校長，並指校規規定可穿西褲回校。
她翌日再穿西褲回校，但再被召入校長室，「提醒」她如果每日要穿褲子，就要穿整套套裝，鄺小姐答允，但校長隨即拿出聘書，朗讀條文「中止聘任」的一欄，但就指現時不能裁走她，「還要看你的表現」。鄺小姐指雖然校長沒表明不穿裙就要裁走她，但她感受到校長的用意。她指出，事件已拖了兩年多，身心疲累，但校方一直不肯出席調解，最後她只能申請訴訟解決。
團體指勝算高仍不獲批
香港人權監察主席莊耀洸表示，一直由07年協助鄺小姐，就《性別歧視條例》這是一個很好的案例，如果上庭相信勝算很高，但平機會卻不批出法律協助。
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Life of Modern Women?
I found this article when I was browsing and reading news on HK Yahoo. I'm pretty disappointed at the fact that 20% of Hong Kong people still believe that mothers should take care of the children's daily necessities while fathers shouldn't involve. I guess the coping solution to this dilemma for most women nowadays is to manage their limited time well between work and family.
But seriously, at least at this moment of life, I wouldn't agree to go through this splitting-up-the-time-into-two-parts thing.
The original post is located here: http://hk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/myself/career/article.html?id=art_49d1cd0d
* * *
置身陰盛陽衰的辦公室
撰文：sir pan, 03/31/2009
現今社會倡導男女平等，但似乎是主觀願望，無論在工作上或者平日生活，總會出現不公平現象。根據婦女事務委員會(婦委會)早前委託顧問公司，於 2009年1月至2月期間，就性別議題觀念訪問了1530名15歲或以上人士，約20%同意「照顧子女的日常生活是媽媽的工作，不是爸爸的工作」，可見社會上「男主外，女主內」的觀點依然根深蒂固。已婚女性要工作更必須要比男性負起多一個角色，要兼顧家庭及事業。所以，時間管理方面需要更有掌握，否則吃力不討好，影響工作表現及團隊效率。
公私兩忙 管理時間要好
身為美容公司的市場總監Helen是最典型的職業女性，每天都忙得不可開交，她說：「早上我會回到位於尖沙咀的公司，它主要是提供女性護理療程例如 facial、水療及按摩等，通常我會與治療師們溝通、編排schedule，或者安排美容師做training提高技巧等，間中亦會和管理層商討舖內不同的事宜，有時細緻到如加添那種香薰、員工制服的加減甚至清潔用品都可能兼顧到，一直忙到大概七點鐘我就回家休息。」
有不少男士都不喜歡伴侶太過投入工作，甚至為伴侶超越自己而感到不舒服。對此Helen認為：「女性是需要工作的，否則會覺得生活苦悶又頹廢，但因為要兼顧家庭，所以要懂得如何分配時間。以我自己為例，星期一至五由朝早十點到晚上七點，都是工作時間，但七點半後我一定會在家，照顧小朋友及溫習功課等，直到十點他上床睡覺，每天我便是把握用當中那兩個半小時和他傾偈交流，因為只要一星期沒和孩子溝通，就會發覺他們變化得很快的了，哈哈！」
Helen亦坦然表示：「其實自己也不算是及格的媽媽，每天只有一點時間陪兒子，所以在週末、日我通常會盡量全日陪著他，公司員工都暸解我的時間表，也盡量不會在這些家庭日聯絡我談公事。」
現代社會傳統思想
上述調查亦顯示，「女性不應該做傳統男性的工作」如建築工人或消防員等亦觀念得到大比數認同。Helen則認為不論男女，大家都應該放開懷抱改變觀念，她說：「女性應該可以做到傳統男性的工作，雖然男人一般氣力較大，但發覺女性的忍耐力及EQ其實是會較男性高，可能因為女性的身體可以承受到分娩的痛楚，生過BB的女人都會知道那種痛楚是達到“十級程度”，我相信男人是會無法忍受的，所以就這一點已可以證明女性也能夠勝任傳統男性的工作。」
在社會巨輪下女性已擔當重要角色，面對女上司的管治下，男性應該如何應付？女性應該怎樣配合？是值得思考的課題。
But seriously, at least at this moment of life, I wouldn't agree to go through this splitting-up-the-time-into-two-parts thing.
The original post is located here: http://hk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/myself/career/article.html?id=art_49d1cd0d
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置身陰盛陽衰的辦公室
撰文：sir pan, 03/31/2009
現今社會倡導男女平等，但似乎是主觀願望，無論在工作上或者平日生活，總會出現不公平現象。根據婦女事務委員會(婦委會)早前委託顧問公司，於 2009年1月至2月期間，就性別議題觀念訪問了1530名15歲或以上人士，約20%同意「照顧子女的日常生活是媽媽的工作，不是爸爸的工作」，可見社會上「男主外，女主內」的觀點依然根深蒂固。已婚女性要工作更必須要比男性負起多一個角色，要兼顧家庭及事業。所以，時間管理方面需要更有掌握，否則吃力不討好，影響工作表現及團隊效率。
公私兩忙 管理時間要好
身為美容公司的市場總監Helen是最典型的職業女性，每天都忙得不可開交，她說：「早上我會回到位於尖沙咀的公司，它主要是提供女性護理療程例如 facial、水療及按摩等，通常我會與治療師們溝通、編排schedule，或者安排美容師做training提高技巧等，間中亦會和管理層商討舖內不同的事宜，有時細緻到如加添那種香薰、員工制服的加減甚至清潔用品都可能兼顧到，一直忙到大概七點鐘我就回家休息。」
有不少男士都不喜歡伴侶太過投入工作，甚至為伴侶超越自己而感到不舒服。對此Helen認為：「女性是需要工作的，否則會覺得生活苦悶又頹廢，但因為要兼顧家庭，所以要懂得如何分配時間。以我自己為例，星期一至五由朝早十點到晚上七點，都是工作時間，但七點半後我一定會在家，照顧小朋友及溫習功課等，直到十點他上床睡覺，每天我便是把握用當中那兩個半小時和他傾偈交流，因為只要一星期沒和孩子溝通，就會發覺他們變化得很快的了，哈哈！」
Helen亦坦然表示：「其實自己也不算是及格的媽媽，每天只有一點時間陪兒子，所以在週末、日我通常會盡量全日陪著他，公司員工都暸解我的時間表，也盡量不會在這些家庭日聯絡我談公事。」
現代社會傳統思想
上述調查亦顯示，「女性不應該做傳統男性的工作」如建築工人或消防員等亦觀念得到大比數認同。Helen則認為不論男女，大家都應該放開懷抱改變觀念，她說：「女性應該可以做到傳統男性的工作，雖然男人一般氣力較大，但發覺女性的忍耐力及EQ其實是會較男性高，可能因為女性的身體可以承受到分娩的痛楚，生過BB的女人都會知道那種痛楚是達到“十級程度”，我相信男人是會無法忍受的，所以就這一點已可以證明女性也能夠勝任傳統男性的工作。」
在社會巨輪下女性已擔當重要角色，面對女上司的管治下，男性應該如何應付？女性應該怎樣配合？是值得思考的課題。
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Labels and Complications
I'm not ready to identify as a woman yet. The word woman sounds too serious. Plus the stigma that involves behind it - with many others contributing their ideals regarding one being a "woman" in today's patriarchal society. Being girl seems easier, as most people understand the term as a kid/juvenile, which put less responsibility on one. But many still have certain expectations. Lots of rules too. What to do and what not to do. How to react and how not to react. Is being female wrong after all? Maybe we all are not meant to be born and live. And suffer through all these patriarchal crap.
Actually I don't know how to describe myself in one single word. My self identification will be a bunch of words put together in an ultra complex paragraph that will put you to sleep. I'm a person who loves to analyze and breakdown things into categories and compartmentalize them into bits and pieces. But I find the issue of one's gender identity, sexuality identity, and sexual orientation are very complex to dig for an absolute answer. Also to me they are similar to the nature of water - let it flow and see where it brings you. At various stages of life it's highly possible that one would want to identify oneself differently.
Stereotyping is no good, although we all like to summarize people into labels. Labels do help you to identify each other fast, avoiding the later messiness of figuring out the person you are into are not exactly what you wanted/expected. Making people change according to your expectations is not really feasible. Adjustments might happen due to the great love, but definitely not entirely modifying the person into someone that purely lives in your fantasy.
I'm contradicting myself here again. So are labels good or what? I believe titles are good until they get to a certain degree where the one-worded descriptions bring you more complications rather than help. Labels do give people a sense of security and comfort as they feel they belong to a specific group after all. Remember all those teenage years when you tried to fit in? That's exactly what I mean. No one would want to be left alone by themselves and be outcasts.
Actually I don't know how to describe myself in one single word. My self identification will be a bunch of words put together in an ultra complex paragraph that will put you to sleep. I'm a person who loves to analyze and breakdown things into categories and compartmentalize them into bits and pieces. But I find the issue of one's gender identity, sexuality identity, and sexual orientation are very complex to dig for an absolute answer. Also to me they are similar to the nature of water - let it flow and see where it brings you. At various stages of life it's highly possible that one would want to identify oneself differently.
Stereotyping is no good, although we all like to summarize people into labels. Labels do help you to identify each other fast, avoiding the later messiness of figuring out the person you are into are not exactly what you wanted/expected. Making people change according to your expectations is not really feasible. Adjustments might happen due to the great love, but definitely not entirely modifying the person into someone that purely lives in your fantasy.
I'm contradicting myself here again. So are labels good or what? I believe titles are good until they get to a certain degree where the one-worded descriptions bring you more complications rather than help. Labels do give people a sense of security and comfort as they feel they belong to a specific group after all. Remember all those teenage years when you tried to fit in? That's exactly what I mean. No one would want to be left alone by themselves and be outcasts.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
March 8th: IWD
What is today you might ask. It seems they don't really mention about it in Canada, as I don't remember it being talk about in school at all, nor any commercial significance regarding today's celebration. Maybe Canada has a pretty decent system on providing equal rights for all people hence there's nothing big going on? (Hey, we are not that behind in same-sex marriage after all.)
International Women's Day, which is on March 8th, celebrates the long route of activists fighting for women's right. I don't see much of it political awareness in Shanghai here. My co-workers just talked about how they would have good deals and discounts at department stores. Like you will get 10% off or something. (Ridiculous. Everything is so emerge into the consumer culture. Just like Christmas too. They market it as an event that makes money. Lots of money without the presence of religion or what so ever.)
To talk about the current women's right here in China, there is improvement if you compare the situation of many years ago. But people are still strongly believing in the idea of "being a good wife and obey your husband", "marrying a rich man and you will live well for the rest of your life", and "delivering a baby boy will make your mother-in-law and your husband's extended family happy." WTF. I prefer to be a good partner to someone (gender and title of the person don't matter), not to get marry (currently I'm not interested in doing so), not to have babies (girl or boy, I'm not ready emotionally nor financially ready for them yet), and I dress to please myself and maybe the people I love but not the general public. Certainly not entertained by your judgmental comments too.
It is pretty depressing when I hear female friends, co-workers, whoever else talked about being their understanding of the "perfect woman." I mean, is that your life goal? To please men? To submerge yourself into fully supporting patriarchy culture? During a recent hang-out, I got to know that one of the younger co-worker chose shoes based on how much guys would think the heels will be attractive and cute and sexy. WTF x 2. (Is it just me who is a feminist here??? Helloooo?) I think I would accept that reason better if you said the shoes make you feel confident or attractive in them, not that you would think guys will like them. Personally I'm not against heels, but they hurt my feet and I can't catch the bus with them on bumpy Shanghai streets. I don't mind wearing them occasionally, after all they do make ME (not others, not guys) feel sexy sometimes. Sigh. I know I cannot force my believes onto others as I don't like others dropping theirs (aka patriarchy) on me. Yet I feel really sorry for those who still buys the idea of being the submissive, dependent, obeying, men-pleasing women.
Another incident was my experience at a club recently. A boy asked me to dance with him. I was being nice so I stood up from my comfortable sitting position and danced. He tried to grine at me. I pushed him away. He fell onto some people. People gave me strange faces. Ya know, I really don't like people touching me without my consent. And no I'm not going to cooperate and participate in your little fun. F*ck off. What's wrong with you? I thought you think that I'm a dyke anyway. Go dance with someone who's willing to be grined at just to boost their self-worth value and attractiveness from your actions. But again, I feel really really sorry for those girls that are willing to get manipulated by you. May those girls be enlightened one day and realize they don't have to live under the patriarchy tree. Remember that all people can run freely as they enjoy! (Oh yeah, as a side note, I hate those girls who kiss each other just to catch male attention. Kate Perry is not cool, okie? Stop obscuring our relationships.)
Let's celebrate the day with Keep On Livin' by feminist punk-rock band Le Tigre (check them out at http://www.letigreworld.com/).
International Women's Day, which is on March 8th, celebrates the long route of activists fighting for women's right. I don't see much of it political awareness in Shanghai here. My co-workers just talked about how they would have good deals and discounts at department stores. Like you will get 10% off or something. (Ridiculous. Everything is so emerge into the consumer culture. Just like Christmas too. They market it as an event that makes money. Lots of money without the presence of religion or what so ever.)
To talk about the current women's right here in China, there is improvement if you compare the situation of many years ago. But people are still strongly believing in the idea of "being a good wife and obey your husband", "marrying a rich man and you will live well for the rest of your life", and "delivering a baby boy will make your mother-in-law and your husband's extended family happy." WTF. I prefer to be a good partner to someone (gender and title of the person don't matter), not to get marry (currently I'm not interested in doing so), not to have babies (girl or boy, I'm not ready emotionally nor financially ready for them yet), and I dress to please myself and maybe the people I love but not the general public. Certainly not entertained by your judgmental comments too.
It is pretty depressing when I hear female friends, co-workers, whoever else talked about being their understanding of the "perfect woman." I mean, is that your life goal? To please men? To submerge yourself into fully supporting patriarchy culture? During a recent hang-out, I got to know that one of the younger co-worker chose shoes based on how much guys would think the heels will be attractive and cute and sexy. WTF x 2. (Is it just me who is a feminist here??? Helloooo?) I think I would accept that reason better if you said the shoes make you feel confident or attractive in them, not that you would think guys will like them. Personally I'm not against heels, but they hurt my feet and I can't catch the bus with them on bumpy Shanghai streets. I don't mind wearing them occasionally, after all they do make ME (not others, not guys) feel sexy sometimes. Sigh. I know I cannot force my believes onto others as I don't like others dropping theirs (aka patriarchy) on me. Yet I feel really sorry for those who still buys the idea of being the submissive, dependent, obeying, men-pleasing women.
Another incident was my experience at a club recently. A boy asked me to dance with him. I was being nice so I stood up from my comfortable sitting position and danced. He tried to grine at me. I pushed him away. He fell onto some people. People gave me strange faces. Ya know, I really don't like people touching me without my consent. And no I'm not going to cooperate and participate in your little fun. F*ck off. What's wrong with you? I thought you think that I'm a dyke anyway. Go dance with someone who's willing to be grined at just to boost their self-worth value and attractiveness from your actions. But again, I feel really really sorry for those girls that are willing to get manipulated by you. May those girls be enlightened one day and realize they don't have to live under the patriarchy tree. Remember that all people can run freely as they enjoy! (Oh yeah, as a side note, I hate those girls who kiss each other just to catch male attention. Kate Perry is not cool, okie? Stop obscuring our relationships.)
Let's celebrate the day with Keep On Livin' by feminist punk-rock band Le Tigre (check them out at http://www.letigreworld.com/).
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