Story | The City of Pearls

This is torturing. Why are you teasing and tempting me? It is a place filled with goodies, but also it brings back the horror deeply hidden in my conscious mind. I don't know how well I will react to the complex situation and the complicated memory of the past. Unless you can bring prosperity, I think I'll just stay in my comfort zone.

2010/01/29

Story | Shattering Flood

I really want to cry. But no tears run out from the corner of my eye down my cheeks.
Yet my heart feel pain. The type where you would experience the action of tearing apart.

I want to escape. From all the trauma I am currently evidencing.

I cannot even sleep well, depict I overloaded myself with work, exhausting my daily life.

Where is my energy, my motivation? Why do you have to be so far away where I cannot touch you, feel you, make love to you?


2010/03/03

Story | There Won't Be Anyone Else But Yourself

You travel for 30 minutes, only transferring once within the subway system from the yellow line to the green line with your already-there monthly pass, is too far, too much effort.

I interchange my life through subway, inter-regional bus, and local bus, for over 1.5 hours for $10 one way is considered as expected, or nothing.

Yeah, I suck because I only have a monthly suburb bus pass that really only brings me to work from home and back, I don't drive and go on the highway, I don't live in downtown as all the hip people do, I'm not as cool and rich and urban as you, I don't have a partner whom can drive me around and listen to my complains and sleep with me, and many many more.

F*ck you all. You can be as inconsiderate as much as you want. You can make fun of me all you wish.

I will have my own radical self-love.


2010/03/03

How the machine works...

I'm more eccentric and spontaneous than I thought I was. I guess it all goes back to the level of intensity on my desires. If I really want to do certain things, I will put in effort to make sure they happen. And of course, on the other hand, I would absolutely let others influence my decisions when I don't really care.

It all depends on my effort of consciousness and seriousness on the particular thing, at that particular moment.

*check out another blog post about the operation of the machine here: http://threequartertranslation.blogspot.com/2009/03/manipulation-or-not.html

Story | Kilometers Away

We cannot officially be girlfriends because we haven't meet each other in person. Yet we discussed about our academic and career goals, our expectations for each other in the future, and of course the juicy stuff regarding intimacy.

I wish I can make you yummy fusion food, showing you the goodness of different culture. The same vice versa. I want to know all about your background. Culture is very interesting.

I have hoped that you were here with me at this moment, hugging me to sleep. Spooning is very nice, you know? And you can do whatever else you want on me, and I would not complain one single thing, but to love you even more.

I secretly imagine that we can make lots of love that involve heavy breathing, moaning, and fulfillment.

.
.
.

I miss you.


2010/03/01