Story | The Knot

I couldn't believe myself being jealous of a teddy bear. Yes, a soft and plushy teddy bear. I think I just cannot get over this fact. Why? Why a teddy bear? Why why why? That makes me feel stupid and sad. I know I can't blame it on you and your love with a plush toy, but I did abandon my cardboard-made teddy bear for you. I chose you over it. The corrugated cardboard looked stiff and I know it would be decent as a shelter until the rain is here. Often I wonder why can't I just be happy and satisfied with the paper product for now? Is it because cardboards are 2-dimensional and you are 3D? Or maybe you have eccentric qualities that cardboards don't carry. Umm, what else? I don't know. The question is still under research and yet to be explore. In terms of me, well, I like to pursuit things rather than being offered. I tend not to cherish the easily acquired ones. This might contribute to the mess. And probably I knew the rain would come eventually and I don't want myself to be caught under the wet cardboards too. Also I can become very emotional, upset rather, on things that I will never able to get. I like difficulty, you know? Things are funny isn't it. I hope one day I can write a thesis regarding this entire situation.

I'm glad (and I should be happy too) that you enjoy your plushy teddy. Life in the seems-familiar-yet-foreign world is not going that great. At the present I'm mourning over everything - my not so smart decisions, my stupidity, and my cardboard teddy. Sleep well.


03/14/09